by Kristopher on Fri Jun 15, 2012 1:01 pm
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Chat has been most entertaining lately. An old member popped in, a new member arrived…and yet another old timer left chat, mentioning dissatisfaction.
Dissatisfaction with chat, or claiming chat is ‘toxic’ always brings a smile to my face. And of course dissatisfaction always stems from self importance, ‘this is better than that,’ which is really a cop out for, ‘I showed you my ugly baby [beliefs] and you didn’t dote on them enough.’
Brett nailed it, in saying that all beliefs are like ugly babies. We always want others to lie to us, tell us how precious and pretty they are, as opposed to being told they should be taken to the river and drowned.
If chat participants were a bit more ‘open’ to what’s presented, then all of us can be each others teachers. However, every time a nerve gets touched, the response is, s/he who touched it is: 1) Being a bully. 2) An Egotist. 3) Doing a power play. Another way to say this is, it’s always about the shooter, ignoring the reaction to the shot.
Now, we all make assumptions, and mine was, I assumed others in chat were really looking for some straight talk, looking into the reactions when their beliefs are questioned, and then perhaps work through those. Bad assumption, baaaaad.
Chat is always open to multiple topics, even at the same time. If a topic leaves a bad taste in your mouth, or perhaps gets you to look at yourself and what you need to deal with, yet are not quite ready to do so, just say ‘stop,’ or just ask the topic to be changed or change it yourself. Constant defense of how pretty your ugly baby is really can drain a person, and this is what causes dissatisfaction for the most part.
A retort to this is obviously, ‘you not only question, but then take it a step further to hammer an individual just to discredit them.’ This situation is often steeped in ‘status.’ It’s turned around, somehow saying that the questioner isn’t worthy of questioning, or, how dare you question the self-proclaimed adept. This is a common theme with ego-bound self proclaimed douche nozzles, as anyone who questions them is only out to tarnish their precious reputation. Pure rubbish. See above – it’s always about the shooter, ignoring the reaction to the shot.
Since we have nothing to defend, a question may be answered or not. Yet, don’t make excuses as to why it’s not answered, or excuses as to why it’s answered in a specific manner. Just be impeccable and answer as best you can. The answer lies within the question, and of course we should all strive to ask the right questions.
Now, I love all chat participants and am especially grateful for John to offer it as much as he does, being present in chat. Chat is what you make of it. Chat is what you take from it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, most of the time when I question an individual, it’s to clarify, mirror, my own behavior in another chat participant. I play both parts in chat, to look closer at my own ugly baby beliefs.
Of course anyone is free to come and go as they please, in chat or not. I guess what stymies me are the excuses made as to why they choose to not participate. It’s always someone else’s fault. Really? Hell, we even have one self proclaimed adept who won’t join us anymore, yet is constantly questioning G about, ‘are you all talking about me? Discrediting me?’ Wow. Got ego?
It’s all good. Join us if you wish. Or not. Just ensure you take responsibility for your choice. (Or not.)
K