Redneck Jedi

[Gonzo]

Going through some old stuff, I ran across this and got an immediate guffaw


You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

~You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

~Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

~You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

~At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

~You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

~You have ever had a land-speeder or X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

~The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

~Wookies are offended by your B.O.

~You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

~Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

~You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

~You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

~You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

~You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

~You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

~You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

~There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

~You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

~You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

~You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

~You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

~You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

And the final way? If you've every had someone say "I am your father... and your uncle... and your second cousin...