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Maiveeta wrote:I thought I had posted this somewhere...maybe not but it has come to my attn that it should be posted again
Ego just tells the story over and over again
maiveeta[10:02:43 AM]: Its about stopping the story
maiveeta[10:02:53 AM]: and seeing what is there..
It really is as easy as that...as always...kinda. The evil little fucker in the attic does not like to give up so easily. You know who Im talkin about. However, this time I am aware that it is not telling a true story, or giving accurate descriptions of things. I am letting it ramble, while understanding its a lie. Interesting days....
Maiveeta wrote:A most interesting evening...
So I have been re-capping everything that comes up no matter how trivial. Last night just before sleep (I went to bed early to work on it, I do best just before sleep) I realized with a confused surety that I have no clue who I am. It was a very confusing and weird experience. I realized in that moment (and am still processing) that not only am I not who I thought I was, but Im not what I have been told I am. It was a very pure moment. I am not sure what to think about it/trying not to think too much about it...and I am trying to not let it get away like so much smoke. I think this is important, or I dont...I dunno, but its weird. I feel good, clear, and a little confused, tenative because I dont want it to get away but I know if I dwell on it then it will change because I have then morphed it into its own box which it does not need. I feel like Im dancing on the razors edge, which is interesting to say the least...theres more but its still too new.
Maiveeta wrote:A most interesting evening...
So I have been re-capping everything that comes up no matter how trivial. Last night just before sleep (I went to bed early to work on it, I do best just before sleep) I realized with a confused surety that I have no clue who I am. It was a very confusing and weird experience. I realized in that moment (and am still processing) that not only am I not who I thought I was, but Im not what I have been told I am. It was a very pure moment. I am not sure what to think about it/trying not to think too much about it...and I am trying to not let it get away like so much smoke. I think this is important, or I dont...I dunno, but its weird. I feel good, clear, and a little confused, tenative because I dont want it to get away but I know if I dwell on it then it will change because I have then morphed it into its own box which it does not need. I feel like Im dancing on the razors edge, which is interesting to say the least...theres more but its still too new.
Maiveeta wrote: AND nothing was as it appeared had I listened to whatever little demon lives in my head it would have been awful. I did not and it was not...I dunno Im not saying this right...nothing is what it appears
Totally...Maiveeta wrote:sometimes Im such a knucklehead...the end is to stop the spiral, the being worn out so that I can experience a new level of here and now..thats it, thats all, and its totally worth it...right?
Maiveeta wrote:absolutely! Raging against the machine....
Why label something which is unreal, and doesnt exist?
And why 'shrink' so small? For in your labeling them as "big" or "giant," you "shrink," and invoke the unreal, the "evil little fucker." The small one.
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