The Storyteller

[Zamurito]

~

LOL!

Now that I like!

[datura]

Its called The Force, kris!

(Yes its a huge fav of mine)!

I found this quote today, as a reminder, and died laughing, LOL!

Carl from Caddyshack:



So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one -- big hitter, the Lama -- long, into a ten-thousand foot crevice, right at the base of this glacier. And do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga...gunga -- gunga galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[datura]

Is there anything else, you would like to discuss, Kris?

Im thinking Gophers and Carl can benefit from that, cant we all just get along?

(funny way of saying we all shit zen dung huh)!?

Ok clean room, burn incense, meditate, nite kids

[Red Heart]

The little yellow man in my head is at it again. WHY GOD WHY do I get caught up in all this head drahma? I KNOW that I know that I know that this thing I have contrived (me) is not real. Groovy. WHY do I not stay in that space? I go about saying that I suck at Chemistry...I hear myself create that, its a lie! Why am I so fucking entwined in that lie? Why do I tell myself that lie? None of this is real. I created it myself. I am repeating a lie told to me a long long time ago thereby perpetuating the lies....I know this yet I still do it! I know Im not stupid.... Dammit why cant I un-create some of this crap? Why do I get so afraid that I will not get into grad school? Why am I so afraid I will not be able to pay off my student loans? All of this shit tumbles into one big ball of Im not good enough. That is really the issue btw. That is truth of this situation. Ok also groovy. How do I change that? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Im tired of all the new age envision it, fake it till you make it, just love yourself bullshit...(that part was beautiful in the McKenna Book I never thought that really worked) might just as well jump on my unicorn and fly off to the moon to have lunch with sasquatch to get his spin on the whole fucking business.... WHAT???????????????

[Gonzo]

The little yellow man in my head is at it again. WHY GOD WHY do I get caught up in all this head drahma? I KNOW that I know that I know that this thing I have contrived (me) is not real. Groovy. WHY do I not stay in that space? I go about saying that I suck at Chemistry...I hear myself create that, its a lie! Why am I so fucking entwined in that lie? Why do I tell myself that lie? None of this is real. I created it myself. I am repeating a lie told to me a long long time ago thereby perpetuating the lies....I know this yet I still do it! I know Im not stupid.... Dammit why cant I un-create some of this crap? Why do I get so afraid that I will not get into grad school? Why am I so afraid I will not be able to pay off my student loans? All of this shit tumbles into one big ball of Im not good enough. That is really the issue btw. That is truth of this situation. Ok also groovy. How do I change that? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Im tired of all the new age envision it, fake it till you make it, just love yourself bullshit...(that part was beautiful in the McKenna Book I never thought that really worked) might just as well jump on my unicorn and fly off to the moon to have lunch with sasquatch to get his spin on the whole fucking business.... WHAT???????????????

Steady as she goes, mate. Moby Dick awaits you.

[Red Heart]

Moby can suck my dick...Im tired of screwing around waiting for his big dumb ass....I want it now! <in your best Verruca Salt> and when I find it Im gonna kill the shit out of it....do you think Im feeling a littly um er FUCKING FRUSTRATED????
hm, I wonder what gave it away?

[Red Heart]

http://gripncheck.com/images2/stop.jpg

[Red Heart]

http://www.leapmovie.com/

Has anyone seen this movie?

[Red Heart]

Chose a disc of Down the rabbit hole the expanded version of What the bleep do we know....and there it was. If you want to see choose The Quantum edition part II and there it is. Its as easy as creating your own reality.

[Red Heart]

stuff I need to remember

feelings determine thinking....feelings are based on a past, event creating the future based on the past, cabandon the way feeling ts the means of thinking we break the axonal meaning to focus on a dream or abstraction no emotion, no past, an only create reality by what know
Previous experiences and emotions...experience new concepts with no emotion connected to them
We are addicted to pleasure, seek pleasure avoid pain
something you cant stop= addiction
addicted to emotion
need the emotion to feel worthy
addiction=learning
you have to go through the crap till you see the traps

ambitious pursuit of boring self reflection that takes us us from the boring pursuit of self hate to self creation
thinking is doing
thought governs all things
you cannot put new wine into old wineskins

[Red Heart]

feelings determine thinking....feelings are based on a past, event creating the future based on the past, cabandon the way feeling ts the means of thinking we break the axonal meaning to focus on a dream or abstraction no emotion, no past, an only create reality by what know
Previous experiences and emotions...experience new concepts with no emotion connected to them

This is what I have been struggling with the past few days. Feelings are based on a past event and I am creating the future on the past. Hard not to. I catch myself doing it all the time. Once I saw that I was doing it the "universe" (Nagual, God, whatever) has given me ample opportunity to examine my reactions to stress. Everyone in the house is snippy and snappy ....its that time of year, the cabin fever sets in okay I can deal with that.
Chemistry is giving me hell...ok I will deal with that too. Now there is some subterfuge at work. It sometimes feels like I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there. I have never been around such unprofessional and messed up people in my life....hairdressers were more professional than some of these people. Backbiting, jockeying for position, and generally acting foolish....I just want to do science for Gods sake! Thats it. I can be as spiritually evolved as I want to be it doesnt matter to others...they will act as they will, and I will have to deal with it. But dealing with it brings old hurts and perceived slights and all my crap with it. Dropping the crap is the issue isnt it? Even amidst the whirlwind knowing and trusting that everything will work out the way I intend it to work out. What is my intention?
My intention is to finish school, stay out of the way, and write papers. Work quietly behind the scenes and just get it done. Will that be allowed? Allowed by whom? I am the only one that allows/disallows stuff in my life. Ohhh that was good. The emotion is what makes us feel self righteous...do the people who are acting foolish also have emotion? They sure do. Just like me they get to choose. I now see the nuance between freedom and victim. Even if you believe that you are being proactive there is still the underlying emotion of victim. Dammit I hated to write that....krap in the bag...can I drop it? Can I move forward? Can I stop allowing and creating this? That was a weird sentence. Can I stop allowing and creating....you mean I get a choice? Really? Or am I just full of shit? Things happen to you and you need to adjust accordingly right? Hmm much to think about on this snowday AGAIN>>>>ugh!

[redspiderlily]

Big Hug Donna!

[Red Heart]

So its a coupla days later heres what has transpired:
I have talked to my mentor and she said something funny after I told her everything that was going on...wait for it....its good....she said "um, Donna, you are just going to have to suck it up" "People are people and theres no changing them. Remember your goal and focus on that." Shes a Nagual! And shes right. I need to learn to suck it up, and get a thicker skin.
No one gives a shit more than me about my "stuff", and no one can feel as sorry for me as I can. Well, aint that some shit right there....
On a happy note, Im off to Houston for the weekend and its supposed to be in the 80's...where did I put my shorts? Time for an attitude adjustment!

[Affinity]

might just as well jump on my unicorn and fly off to the moon to have lunch with sasquatch to get his spin on the whole fucking business....

[Red Heart]

The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves. Carl Jung

I like this quote. Especially the last part "The creative mind plays with the objects it loves"