I've made forays into various "ways", however, prior to doing so, I encountered Zen. I don't mean the Zen of sitting Zazen, whether in a monastery or at home on a meditation cushion, with the incense burning and the quiet sound of bells on the stereo. Those are valid for some folk...they are not for me, however I experimented with those things to find that out.
Key...thinking you can change, or get better, why enlightened? Kim - content with herself
Wanting enlightenment is wanting to become or to be something other
Self-deprecation - learned early to dislike self (not so with Kim...the only person I know who has ever said she liked herself, and has always liked herself.
"Neither Wolf nor Dog" - hive mentality - required to engage the nagual?
drama...and taking it seriously..what have I always loved? fights, in high school...damn...the drama of sex in all its wild ass versions, all the perversions
Predilection...Dalai Lama syndrome - destiny...is to be only what you essentially are...Curtis Sensei is just being essentially what he is...he rings true...however, YOU cannot be Curtis Sensei...rather like Karbo saying "be realistic" - you can't imagine being a CEO unless you have the abilities required to be a CEO...what are you, then?
Discover...HuangPo was HP...I cannot be like him...nor can I be like MK...nor do I wish to be. I don't have his abilities...I have my own abilities, and that's all there is...there is only taking the rocks out of the backpack....or not, as predilections warrant.