The Storyteller

[Red Heart]

What am I doing???? Is the stress worth dying young? I now have an offer to do herbal stuff...it always comes back to that...oh fuck. Life throws the curves...can I hit em?

[Gonzo]

What am I doing???? Is the stress worth dying young? I now have an offer to do herbal stuff...it always comes back to that...oh fuck. Life throws the curves...can I hit em?

It's a bit of a cliche, but there is the thing about the path with heart...or I prefer Joseph Campbells "Follow your bliss".

[Red Heart]

my my my, some things just never go away....ah well Im used to surfing

[Red Heart]

an amazing plant lots o uses

[Red Heart]

I love these...

[Red Heart]

and your father smelled of...

[Red Heart]

smells and tastes like carrots

[Red Heart]

love this pic

[Red Heart]

Tiller touching...
when one is faced with a decision is the outcome preordained if we just "let it happen"? Preordained by whom? I am a huge fan of letting things "shake out". I am wondering where all this energy comes from.... the crash and burn...the reorganization, the whole business. If nothing is at the wheel then who is in charge? And where does it come from?

[Gonzo]

Tiller touching...
when one is faced with a decision is the outcome preordained if we just "let it happen"? Preordained by whom? I am a huge fan of letting things "shake out". I am wondering where all this energy comes from.... the crash and burn...the reorganization, the whole business. If nothing is at the wheel then who is in charge? And where does it come from?

Helluva question.

Who is in charge, and why trust the sucker? let alone, where does it come from and what agenda might it have.

I think there is a sense of a something, that which dJ called the nagual, that same essence that Dan in Neither Wolf nor Dog gave himself fully to, that is what McKenna refers to when he suggests letting go the tiller. It might possibly something innate.

[Red Heart]

It might possibly something innate.

Innate in who? The "nagual/universe/God? Or innate in us? Innate how? If it is innate in us...then we ARE the Nagual...if innate in the Nagual (insert deity) then how can there be free will?

[Gonzo]

Yes, innate, meaning something within us. IMO, the nagual, or what I perceive to be the nagual is not innate. That is, it is an essence, or a force outside of us which we can choose to ignore and I think most often do ignore. However, McKenna's "letting go the tiller" is, in my opinion, the same thing as shutting up and paying full attention to the nagual and acting and doing in accord with its urges and directions.

Somewhere don Juan commented about making decisions. Here's the quote:

The tonal doesn't know that decisions are in the realm of the nagual. When we think we decide, all we're doing is acknowledging that something beyond our understanding has set up the frame of our so-called decision, and all we do is to acquiesce.

Free will vs determinism....I'll send you the CD, however, it's muddy and rather incomprehensible. In a way, I think we have a combination of both fate and free will. To an extent, fate has laid out a general way we are going to go through a life, however, within that framework, I think we have an ability to exercise some free will. I think we are presented with choices along the way, and free will allows for making those choices, however, the general framework of the life we have in many ways seems pre-ordained...and not by some "other" force...I believe that pro-ordained thing is our own doing, rather like, "I wonder what it would be like to live a life like......". I think the option to terminate a life by whatever means is a matter of free will, just as the option to let go the tiller and see what happens.

[Red Heart]

Well, to sum it up...there you have it. At the time I did not realize what was going on, now I see that what we all got to witness was an old fashioned meltdown and breakthrough to the other side.

I am doing well and have broken through the barriers, here I sit on the other side different than I was before. More self confidence, calmer, more peaceful...more unconcerned. Will there be another breakthrough? Not today, but as long as there is breath, there is something to deal with. I really hope that this resonates with someone out there but if it doesnt...it doesnt. Thank you all for your support, I dont know that I could have made it through intact without it (you all know who you are)

[Gonzo]

Well, to sum it up...there you have it. At the time I did not realize what was going on, now I see that what we all got to witness was an old fashioned meltdown and breakthrough to the other side.

I am doing well and have broken through the barriers, here I sit on the other side different than I was before. More self confidence, calmer, more peaceful...more unconcerned. Will there be another breakthrough? Not today, but as long as there is breath, there is something to deal with. I really hope that this resonates with someone out there but if it doesnt...it doesnt. Thank you all for your support, I dont know that I could have made it through intact without it (you all know who you are)

Well done.

[Red Heart]

Addendum:

I have found a graduate school in California, that specializes in you ready???

Non-Dualistic Thought and psychology...guess where Im goin next???