by Derek on Thu Jun 14, 2012 7:00 pm
I am interested in the buddhas path, particularily the feat of ending the cycle of rebirth. i see the night sky and the early dawn is coming to start a new day, fresh and free. i had a dream last night and then i woke up. it was a beautiful dream and i met great people there but then i lost them when i woke. i suppose the question is did i really lose them or can i go back into that dream again and meet the same people, or perhaps in a new dream. maybe the cycle of our lives are not truly seperate at all, and merely the forms of our dreams do change. like a purity that can become anything and yet retains a hidden purpose thorugh the cycles. i know that dreams are incredibly powerful. i once was studying memory and the synaptic relay between people and the environment, the ability to transfer memory and align to them. i went to sleep and that night and had a dream i was someone else, i had been that someone else for as long as i could remember, and i sat there going through his memories as my own. i wondered if this is the synaptic relay, the memory system, and the dreaming function that all workes together to form that experience? i came to the conclusion that it was first and most importantly the dreaming center, and the dreaming centre is responsible for creating the entire scenerio. further more i believe it is the dreamer that dreams the physical values of the brain, and the body.
last month i had 11 heart attacks in one day. preemptively i knew i was going to have them, because the knowledge i held on focus told me so. on the way to the hospital i crossed paths to my dreaming body, and pre-projected my own experience. I gained control of my body and quickly rewrote the knowledge sustaining it and that of my heart. i moved my awareness to realise i was a vampire like being, capable of living while dead. i cross referenced ancient knowledges of moving the heart, and changed the knowledge of my blood, circulation, and oxygen. i result was the doctor telling me to my face that i am dead. the machines too saw my being as dead, and my appearace became that of an ashen ghost. i learnt that day to stop and restart my heart with my will and my attentive focus, or my dreaming attention. my blood is now capable of circulating itself, producing oxygen with its own generative capabilities. i see my body as merely a projection of knowledge now, and not as a physical vessel bound my the trappings of other people's knowledges.
now to escape the cycle of death and rebirth is what scares me. to think that is actually a path! it baffles me. i have had many reincarnations, and have even learnt to enter into old patterns of life through my memory and the memory of existence. i see that motion of time is two parts, light and dark, known and unknown, life and "death". first the was darkness and then there was light. it is genesis. attraction. that void space is the place where our dreams do shine. the place were all the pretty pictures and beliefs come to shine and come to rest. that first place where the potential of our pure existence starts to take form, from the immensity that is potential itself raw. what comes to mind in my searchings in the unknown is a castaneda poem - "Just another syntax of our mother's tongue". which means the knowledge itself of genesis, dark and light etc is exactly what formed that picture, a paradigm of creation and destruction for our reasoning system to understand. mind you i find genesis beautiful, and the system liberating and free. however what if one takes a different view and draws different conclusions, painting in that void a new value system of understanding, that is still within the system of rebirth. see without it we would not have escape, time would not progress and move forward into the uncharted beyond.
i once saw that everything had already happened and no new things could grow under the sun, everything had already been said and done. in that position of life it was true, because i saw and understood that to be so. later i rebelled, and in doinf so discovered that something else is there, flowing out beyond me and beyond all the life before me, and even after me, and that is the essence of creation. creation creates and there is the path never taken. it has to be so because all things are so.
i found a star, and in it shined ever path ever taken, every knowledge ever touched, it is my father star, the beginning of life, the creater, and after its long observational watch, i saw his counterpart, the black hole. that is his means of collection. now it happens all the time, always watching me, always leading me, always guiding me. that star leads to ever part of the galaxy, every dream and dreamland formed. it is a guide in the dark night to the light of any system. however the galaxy itself is always expanding, reaching farther into the abstract. that is where i want to be. on the edge of the night, where my dreams never die, where the light comes and goes, and i am free to depart, to restart, and to come back home after the long and wonderous journey. it is i see the trip back home that creates and maintains the living memory of my dreams, and yet that aspect also lives within my being. the memory of existence is alive inside myself too. i believe we are given the tools to create and destroy ourselves, with these tools we can fashion our being in any way we can concieve, and beyond.
Don Carlos didn't need to pre-dream his writing, although it is a dreaming technique to do so, the nagual can also improvise, dancing to the strings of intent. with energy flowing now, a nagual can dance along with the strings touching them while acting in harmony. The two styles work hand in hand as one is aware of them both, they are within the realm of the known. the known does flow into that which one does not yet see, or not yet seen.. or remembered.. to place one's body in a pasition of awareness stems the action produced in such states.